Now that February has come to a close, here is my biggest takeaway from the month.
People come into our lives for a reason. Some are forever type people while others are only here temporarily with the purpose of teaching us a lesson or two. Our lives intersect for a small period of time until they fade into a memory.
When relationships don’t work out, whether romantic or platonic, we look for closure to find peace and, ultimately, be able to move on.
As humans, we naturally seek closure, and as a result, it is unsettling when we don’t get it. It’s like we’re left holding our breath with one big question mark dangling in the balance.
What’s the point of reading a book cover to cover or watching a movie until the end credits if there’s no definitive ending? We wasted our time just to be left unsatisfied.
I am coming to accept that I won’t always get closure, no matter how much I chase after it.
Sometimes closure is something I need to find within myself. It's the kind of peace that only I can discover within my own being.
When coping with the loss of a relationship, I learn to be patient with myself in the form of self forgiveness. I am doing the best that I can at the time under the circumstances and with my limited knowledge. Additionally, I learn selflessness through forgiving others with the absence of an apology.
I am learning. I am growing. I am evolving.
On the other hand, the closure I receive won’t always be the closure I expect or desire. Having a conclusive conversation is not always accompanied by a peace of mind. Again, that is something only I can provide for myself.
Danica Gim (@danica.gim on Instagram)
Finding closure coincides with the art of letting go.
I know that I attempt to justify the horrible way someone treats me by reevaluating the past and pinpointing potential faults in my behaviors. It’s what my mind resorts to as an overthinker. In the end, I just get entrapped in a whirlpool of self deprecation.
In reality though, sometimes it has nothing to do with me. It’s times like these when I realize just how egocentric people truly are. They get so caught up in what is happening in their own lives that they fail to consider others’ thoughts and feelings. It speaks more to their character than mine. Yet, sometimes it’s easier to just walk away than to take responsibility for hurting someone you deeply care for.
I can’t expect people to act the way I would. Unfortunately, I am always let down when actions and feelings are not reciprocated. It’s difficult to release your clutch, even when the other person has already let go. I’m always the one left holding on and the repetitive pattern is exhausting and discouraging.
People come into our lives for a reason and I am grateful for all of the people who have come and gone, as they have added deep value to my life, even if just for only a little while.
By Billy Chapata (@iambrillyant on Instagram)
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